I was bushwhacked by love from the moment I first saw each one of my babies, and have felt torn between a career I really enjoy and am blessed by, and these precious gifts from God who I love even more. For some moms, balance is achievable doing the full-time thing, but it never was for me. At least not while actually enjoying my life to the extent I should be.
Now I really really am. Enjoying life, that is.
Just a little parable for you, a true bushwhacked story...
Over the past 3 years, living in our home, we have sort of (ahem) neglected our landscaping. As in, the bushes and trees out front have become so overgrown it is EMBARRASSING when people try to enter through the front door (which people tend to do upon their first visit to our house). Not to mention our other bushes that are just plain too-big and ugly because they are neglected. So, on my first "real" day off (no other plans taking us away from home) the boys rode their big wheels outside while I attempted to trim some trees and bushes. I was overwhelmed. I am not very handy, and really thought it would be difficult to discern the shape of the bushes, in order to make them look even and nicely manicured. I was really second guessing myself, but thought "what the heck, you can't make it look WORSE after all." So I started clipping away stray pieces, just anything that looked "extra" or out of place? Just bushwhacked it right off. I had visions of eyebrow-plucking disasters running through my head, believe you me, but just kept going anyway.
As I stepped back, I started to notice that the shape was just emerging from the bushes, it became clear that all I needed to concentrate on was the "plucking" away of the stray pieces, removing the excess, and the true shape would just emerge for me out of the bush.
I was able to trim up two trees and 5 large bushes using this process, and it really did work. I am about half way done or so, and while this will be a several day project, I know I can handle it.
This morning, my daily meditation (which comes from Ozzie Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest) was about God's will. Ole' Ozzie is pretty deep and intellectual, so it takes me a while to figure out what he is talking about, but my interpretation brought me back to my experience with pruning my bushes. God's will for my life is contained somewhere inside of me. It is already there, I just have to get my own ambition out of the way. I need to prune back the stray pieces in my own life so that the form and shape that exists within me, by the power of the Holy Spirit, will start to emerge.
I am so thankful that I have this opportunity to sit back and enjoy my life for a while, while still staying connected to the job I love. I can not even believe this is my life!
